I brought my sister home to my house because I wanted to be the one who cared for her and because I cared. At first, she was still feeling well enough to go to the store or putter around the house. She required daily wound care and her insurance sent a nurse to the house three times a week. The rest of the time, we were on our own.
But, unfortunately, I had to go back to work. My fibromyalgia pain was more intense than ever. My mind was continually on my sister. Her pain was increasing. She was unable to keep any food down for more than a half hour.
Her friends from Dallas and around the state were driving for hours to come here to visit with her. Some stayed for a few days, others a few hours. My husband saw to her basic needs - get me this - get me that - while I was away.
After about three weeks of this, I went to my boss and told her, "What if she dies while I am teaching people to properly use their dayplanners? How will I feel about that?" So, I took a second family leave.
It is important here to tell you that my company considered these leaves as one continuos period of time off. They used my sick time and vacation time to pay me. They did not consider a sister as 'family' and therefore, family leave was actually, technically not offered.This is important because later if effected my actual disability leave.
Rachael's condition worsened and she no longer had any output into the colonoscopy bag and threw up bile everry hour or so. We called hospice. Finally, someone who knew what both she and I were going through.
They provided a wheelchair, a hospital bed, and stronger, more effective pain control.
One day, my sister woke from a two day sleep to say,"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." Four laborious times, she repeated the words. Then, she went back to sleep. She never woke up again. 62 days from her date of diagnosis, she died.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Part Seven: The end of corporate leadership training for me
I went back to work a week after Rachel died and tried to resume my work. I ached all the time. The fibro fog made teaching difficult as I struggled for words that would not come to me. I consulted my doctor and found out that the stress from the caregiving and Rachael's death in combination with the physical trama from the rollover accident had made my fibromyalgia a full blown fact.
I talked to my boss and told her I was considering quitting because I was unable to do all the traveling and shlepping books, etc. that had previously been trying were now nearly impossible. It was then that she said the only knid thing I had ever heard from her in over 3 years. She suggested I go to my doctor and get him to fill out disability paperwork.
The doctor agreed that I should go on full-time disability. I was astonded. I asked him if I could work until the end of the month. He said no, you start NOW. So, he filled out the paperwork and I called my boss. The next day I cleared out my office and that was that.
The disability insurance from work required me to file for social security disability so I did that too.
The social security disability was denied. Not surprised, I hired a lawyer and about three months later the social security disability went into effect.
So, I was getting a check from the disability insurance from work and one from social security. Things were not to bad financially. The pain and symptoms from the fibromyalgia were the same. They were bad.
Let me say here that the social security attorney wrote it up as fibromyalgia AND depression. Depression is one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia. The social security board rarely approves fibromyalgia so my attorney added the depression to get the approval. I am bipolar B and I have suffered with depression and been on medication for that for a very long time. The FMS just had made it worse.
Two and a half years later, the work disability sent me a letter stating that they only paid on "menta;" conditions for 2 and half years so my benefits were stopped from them. Two appeals later they still said that the FMS would not stand alone as disability and the payments stopped for good from them, cutting my income by more than half.
The appeals process is through only their doctors and their panel. My primary care doctor had noted my records that I did a lot of gardening when I had been in to see him about a cut that was infected on my finger after potting a six pack of zinnias. The disability insurance company said that if I could garden, I could work. I had to take it on the chin, as they say, because I had no recourse otherwise. That was 2005.
So now I live on the social security check only. My son and daughter-in-law and their kids moved in with me in 2008 because I had used all my savings and could not keep up the mortgage, lights, etc.
I totally believe that the disability insurance company used a loop hole to cheat me out of my money. I had paid extra while I worked to have that insurance and should have recieved a check every month until I was 65. They just flat out stole from me.
I talked to my boss and told her I was considering quitting because I was unable to do all the traveling and shlepping books, etc. that had previously been trying were now nearly impossible. It was then that she said the only knid thing I had ever heard from her in over 3 years. She suggested I go to my doctor and get him to fill out disability paperwork.
The doctor agreed that I should go on full-time disability. I was astonded. I asked him if I could work until the end of the month. He said no, you start NOW. So, he filled out the paperwork and I called my boss. The next day I cleared out my office and that was that.
The disability insurance from work required me to file for social security disability so I did that too.
The social security disability was denied. Not surprised, I hired a lawyer and about three months later the social security disability went into effect.
So, I was getting a check from the disability insurance from work and one from social security. Things were not to bad financially. The pain and symptoms from the fibromyalgia were the same. They were bad.
Let me say here that the social security attorney wrote it up as fibromyalgia AND depression. Depression is one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia. The social security board rarely approves fibromyalgia so my attorney added the depression to get the approval. I am bipolar B and I have suffered with depression and been on medication for that for a very long time. The FMS just had made it worse.
Two and a half years later, the work disability sent me a letter stating that they only paid on "menta;" conditions for 2 and half years so my benefits were stopped from them. Two appeals later they still said that the FMS would not stand alone as disability and the payments stopped for good from them, cutting my income by more than half.
The appeals process is through only their doctors and their panel. My primary care doctor had noted my records that I did a lot of gardening when I had been in to see him about a cut that was infected on my finger after potting a six pack of zinnias. The disability insurance company said that if I could garden, I could work. I had to take it on the chin, as they say, because I had no recourse otherwise. That was 2005.
So now I live on the social security check only. My son and daughter-in-law and their kids moved in with me in 2008 because I had used all my savings and could not keep up the mortgage, lights, etc.
I totally believe that the disability insurance company used a loop hole to cheat me out of my money. I had paid extra while I worked to have that insurance and should have recieved a check every month until I was 65. They just flat out stole from me.
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